Imagine if you will, you and another person decide to get in a car. Now this is no ordinary car. This car is very unique. It’s very similar to the one you might see in a drivers education course. There are 2 sets of steering wheels, gas pedals and break pedals. Everything else about the car is the same as a normal economy car.
Some how in the world of engineering magic (just go with this) the pedals only control the side they are the on. Therefore in order to go anywhere both sides must be in agreement. If they want to move forward, both sides have to press the gas. If they want to stop, both sides have to press the brake.
Now this car needs regular maintenance, gas needs to be put in the tank, oils and tires need to be checked. Both people are responsible for the car. By getting in the car they accept full responsibility for what happens to the car.
This car is my representation of how a relationship works.
As a daughter of a mechanic, I grew up around cars and developed an appreciation for them. My dad always told me
You can tell the quality of a man by how he takes care of his car
He followed his words to the t and used it as an assessment for all future boyfriends. He would ask for the potential to come to the house in the car, silently my dad would listen to the car and check it out. After the date was over my dad would give his diagnosis. Inevitably he had a list but it was always in good fun. He still very much believed in what he said though and I agree.
The other day, his words came in my head and it triggered something inside me. Slowly the two man driving mobile formed in my head.
Let me break it down
In order to be in a relationship with someone, both parties have to consent. By this they enter the vehicle.
In order to move forward in the relationship, both sides have to agree to move forward. To go in any direction, they have to move together and communicate with one another.
Sure they might like a band you may not like, or they have a personal preference on car temperature. You compromise and find out what works for both of you.
To keep the car going, it’s going to need regular maintenance – just like your relationship. If you keep going on the gas but don’t replenish the supply, you’ll be going on fumes and then nowhere’s really fast. Fill the tank up – find time for you, make contributions to the relationship, work together to keep the car/relationship going.
If one person stops or brakes and the other person is on the gas, the car will spin in a circle. The car just like the relationship becomes one sided and puts a strain on the person trying to make it work.
If one person leaves the car, guess what that means? Bye bye car. Bye bye relationship.
The point I want to make; be good to your car. Make those wheels glisten in the sun. Work and communicate with the other person in order to keep the car moving forward. Invest in your car and you’ll increase the quality and longevity of the car.
Life will present its challenges.
The road may not always be straight. There will be mountains, there will be natural disasters, construction, and detours. These items are going to test you and your relationship, to test if you can weather the storm together.
I look at the people around me, the marriages and relationships that I see as successful. Of those relationships, there were hardships and challenges. There were disagreements, fights, and tears. Through all of that they persevered. They struggled together, cried together, compromised together and came out of it together.
It’s not going to be easy, but really, has anything worth having ever come easy?
So don’t be afraid to get in that car. Get ready to put some elbow grease into it, but you know whats the most important part?
Enjoying the journey
The Golden Jelly Nuggets
1. Relationships need continuous maintenance
2. Both parties need to work together in order to move forward
3. Enjoy the journey
4. Who doesn’t love a good car analogy?
Got any feedback? I’d love to hear from you!